Self Awareness - HAVE Some Feel

“If you want to change the world, start with yourself.” — Mahatma Gandhi

There’s a phrase that cuts right to the heart of this blog: have some feel.

It’s simple, but it’s not easy.
Having feel means being tuned in—to your thoughts, your emotions, your reactions, your tendencies. It’s the difference between moving through life on autopilot and moving through life with intention.

Most people are trying to change outcomes. Better performance. Better relationships. Better results.

But change doesn’t start out there.
Change is an inside job.

The Inner Landscape

Self-awareness is the foundation of that inner work. It’s checking in on what’s going on behind your eyes.

At its core, self-awareness is the ability to understand what’s happening beneath the surface—your emotions, your capabilities, your limitations, your values, and your goals.

When self-awareness is high, something powerful happens:
You create separation between who you are and what happens to you.

You stop being defined by outcomes.

• A bad day doesn’t make you a failure

• A great day doesn’t make you invincible

• Criticism doesn’t crush you

• Praise doesn’t inflate you

You stay steady.

There’s a quiet confidence that comes from knowing yourself. A sense of alignment. You don’t swing wildly between extremes. You don’t overreact. You don’t overcorrect.

You stay grounded.

Real-Time Adjustment

High self-awareness allows you to adjust in real time.

When something happens—a mistake, a tough conversation, a moment of pressure—you don’t need hours or days to figure it out. You recognize what’s happening internally and respond with clarity.

Low self-awareness creates a lag.

• A lag between what happens and how you respond

• A lag between your actions and understanding their impact

• A lag between experience and learning

That lag is where problems compound.

Without awareness, you’re reacting instead of responding. You’re guessing instead of understanding. You’re hoping things work out instead of knowing how to navigate them.

You’re, in a sense, just shooting from the hip.

Life Is a Freestyle

Life doesn’t come with a script.

It’s more like a freestyle rap—constant, rhythmic improvisation.

You don’t know what’s coming next. None of us do.

But here’s the difference:

A great freestyle rapper doesn’t panic in the unknown.
They trust their preparation.
They trust their feel.
They trust themselves.

Self-awareness works the same way.

The more you understand yourself, the more you can move through life fluidly. You don’t force things. You don’t overthink every moment. You respond naturally, in alignment with who you are and what you value.

And over time, something incredible happens:

You begin to impact people—not by trying to, but because of who you are.

Experience Is the Teacher

Self-awareness isn’t built in theory.
It’s built through experience.

Every single day offers feedback:

• What energized you?

• What drained you?

• When were you at your best?

• When did you feel off?

If you’re paying attention, life is constantly teaching you about yourself.

But if awareness is low, those lessons are missed. And when lessons are missed, patterns repeat.

That’s how people become stuck.

The Trap of Over Identification

Without self-awareness, we tend to over-identify with our circumstances.

We become whatever we experience.

• Success → “I am great”

• Failure → “I am terrible”

• Rejection → “I am not enough”

We become prisoners to outcomes.

This leads to extremes—emotional highs and lows that pull us off center. There’s no stability because identity is tied to things that constantly change.

Self-awareness breaks that cycle.

It creates a consistent and steady core—an understanding of who you are that can withstand the ebbs and flows of life.

You don’t lose yourself in the moment.

What Disturbs You?

A powerful question for building awareness is this:

What disturbs me?

When you feel frustration, anger, or discomfort, it’s easy to look outward—to blame a person, situation, or circumstance.

But disturbance is often internal.

When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation unacceptable to me.

That realization shifts everything.

Instead of trying to control what’s outside of you, you begin to understand what’s happening within you.

And that’s where growth lives.

The Foundation of Emotional Intelligence

Psychologist Daniel Goleman described self-awareness as the foundation of emotional intelligence.

Before you can manage emotions…
Before you can connect with others…
Before you can lead…

You have to recognize what’s happening inside of you.

Self-awareness allows you to:

• Identify your emotional state

• Understand why it’s there

• Use it productively instead of being controlled by it

And here’s the extension of that:

The more you understand yourself, the better you understand others.

Empathy grows out of self-awareness.

You begin to recognize patterns in people because you’ve first recognized them in yourself.

Climbing Your Mountain

You don’t need to have your life perfectly together.

No one does.

We’re all climbing our own mountain.

But the higher your level of self-awareness, the more stable your climb becomes—and the more capable you are of helping others on theirs.

Not by preaching.
Not by fixing.
But by understanding.

Tools to Build Self-Awareness

Self-awareness doesn’t just happen. It’s developed intentionally.

Here are a few practical tools:

1. Mindfulness
Slowing down enough to notice what’s happening internally. Observing thoughts and emotions without judgment.

2. Journaling
Putting your thoughts on paper creates clarity. It helps you identify patterns, triggers, and progress over time.

3. Performance Profiling
Honestly assessing your strengths and areas for growth. Not overly critical. Not unrealistically hopeful. Just accurate.

The goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is awareness.

The Power of Awareness

When self-awareness grows, so do the qualities that follow it:

• Gratitude – You recognize what you have instead of chasing what you lack

• Self-Control – You respond instead of react

• Confidence – Built on truth, not outcomes

• Discipline – Aligned with your values

• Contentment – Peace regardless of circumstance

These aren’t separate traits.
They are byproducts of knowing yourself.

Final Thought

Self-awareness isn’t flashy. It’s not loud. It’s not always visible.

But it is foundational.

It’s the difference between living reactively and living intentionally.
Between being pulled by life and moving with it.

So if you want to grow…
If you want to lead…
If you want to make an impact…

Start here.

Have some feel.